Life Line
by ClumsyKat
Summary: "It was stupid—even ridiculous. This level of paranoia wasn't good for his health but… he cannot stop holding his phone." One-Shot. Pre-TodoDeku.


Summary: "It was stupid—even ridiculous. This level of paranoia wasn't good for his health but… he cannot stop holding his phone." After the Vs. Killer Hero Arc.

Pairing: Pre-TodoDeku

Disclaimer: Boku no hero Academia belongs to Kohei Horikoshi.

* * *

When Shouto was a child, he had problems sleeping. It wasn't uncommon for children to struggle with nightmares, but he had a severe reaction to his night terrors. Shouto would wake up screaming and bawling his eyes out. The illusion of a big silhouette engulfed in flames haunted him every night. It didn't help that his quirk would react to his distress. On those nights, his mother would rush into his room and coo his name with fondness and concern. Her dainty hands would comb through his bicolor hair. Softly, with her angelic voice, she would tell him stories of her childhood. Magical stories about a kingdom made of ice and a group of friends working with each other to trump evil.

She was the guardian angel that kept the demon away.

After _the_ accident, his nightmares got worse. To the point that the _great_ Endeavor had to intervene. His father placed him in therapy for months—a secret to the public, _of course_. It would damage the great Endeavor's reputation, if people learnt about his younger son's situation (not that Shouto cared). His older sister helped the most. She played their mother's role. Fuyumi cuddled him and told him sweet nonsenses every night. Shouto played the role of the demon. Gone was his fear of the fire demon. That fear was replaced with hate. His night terrors changed into _that_ moment. Every night he heard his mother's words, felt the boiling water on his face…

With the years, Shouto learnt how to handle them. He had stopped waking up screaming bloody murder. With his recent visits to the hospital to see his mother, his nightmares had almost disappeared. Rekindling their special relationship was… incredible. Every visit brought a sense of peace and joy to him. He felt content for the first time in years. That is the reason why he couldn't understand why he couldn't fall asleep. It was unreasonable! Every single time he closed his eyes to sleep, he saw that. Midoriya on the floor and an insane man (no, _a villain_ ) coming to kill him. His heart would race, fueled by a gut wrenching fear. His eyes would snap open, to be welcomed by the suffocating darkness of his room. His bed would be half frozen. The other side of his quirk would unconsciously be kept at bay (but Shouto was thinking that waking up by a fire would be much better that the alternative). His left hand would suddenly be holding _it_ like a life line.

It was true that after leaving the hospital Shouto felt strange. Every single nerve of his system was ignited with fire. He was burning—drugged by adrenaline. Suffocated with panic. Too jittered to stand still. His eyes were constantly shifting, wanting to absorb every single detail of his surroundings. He was extremely sensitive to sound: even a laugh made him tense up. The worse of all? His left hand would never stop holding it. Even his father was acting strange. Instead of pushing him into training, Endeavor was giving him space. The worst thing was that he had an _understanding_ look on his eyes. As if he _cared_ for his son.

Shouto sighed as his mismatched eyes narrowed in the darkness. Half of his bed was wet by the ice. He had woken up ten or fifteen minutes ago. Yet, his heart was just beginning to slow down. His muscles were still tense, expecting a blow that wouldn't come. It was stupid—even ridiculous. This level of paranoia wasn't good for his health but… he cannot stop holding his phone. He can understand his paranoia for his safety (it was after all human's nature), but this gut gripping fear for Midoriya… he cannot phantom it. He didn't feel like this when he was worried about Iida.

What was so special about Midoriya?

(He knew deep down the why but he wouldn't accept it—not now. He watched—not that Shouto would admit it aloud—chick flick movies with his sister. Shouto knew what the flutter of his stomach was. The reason why his heart pounded every time he sees Midoriya. Why he had the urge to smile every single time he saw those big, green eyes. Still, Shouto wouldn't accept it. He would deny it until, until… Shouto didn't know until when, he just knew he wasn't ready.)

Shouto dragged his hand to his face, rubbing his eyelids with the pads of his cold fingers. He felt tired, emotionally and physically. His wounds were still not completely healed and he hadn't had a good night's sleep since signing out of the hospital. Worse was that he was worried. How would he do this in the future? If one fight with a villain affected him this much. Shouto had originally thought he wouldn't have any problem. When the league of villains attacked the U.S.J. he didn't have any problem. But now? Even his father was giving him space. His _father_ _._

He was highly questioning his career choice. Was he seriously capable of doing this? He had been plagued with nightmares since fighting _one_ villain. One very dangerous (and insane) villain whose only goal was to kill "unworthy" heroes. Had he inherited a weak mentality like his mother? Was his mother even weak? What would had happen if Midoriya had died? Or Iida? Would he had break—

His phone rang.

His heart answered back. It thumped with a fast pace. Reminding him of a prey's heart.

The fear that settled down was heavy and so _damn_ suffocating. He felt his stomach knot and squirm unpleasantly. Was he going to throw up? He doubted it, but he felt like it. His mouth had the texture of sandpaper. Rough in ways that was very unpleasant. Was he shivering from the cold or sweating from the heat?

His phone was still ringing.

His hand was shaking, still holding the phone with a death grip.

He didn't want to answer the phone.

"Hello?" His voice sounded normal. It didn't reveal a single ounce of his emotional turmoil. Shouto didn't look at the caller ID (a stupid mistake). In fact, he didn't even know the time. It could be three of the morning, for all he knew.

"Hi Todo—Todoroki-kun."

 _Damn it._

"Is something wrong?" When did he stand up? Was that really his voice? Since when did he sound so… _squeaky_? Was Midoriya in trouble? Why hadn't he answered? Couldn't he feel his frustration from his point of view? Midoriya was smart, wasn't he? Damn it! Where were his boots?!

"Nothing is wrong!" Relief flood through his whole body. For the first time in days, Shouto felt his body truly relax. His knees went weak by the euphoria. Because _fuck_ , it was magnificent to know someone you care about was fine. Unharmed and safe. Sighing loudly, he sat on the floor. His back reclined on the closet door. One boot on and the other one missing in action. Shouto even felt his grasp on his phone loosen.

"—I am really sorry for worrying you! Please forgive me for waking you up at two of the morning! It was a brash and selfish decision of mine. I didn't think it through! I just want to know how were you doing! But I could've waited until morning! Forgive me Todoroki-kun!"

Midoriya was rambling.

It was such a Midoriya's thing that Shouto laughed. It was a deep rumbling sound that became louder and uncontrollable with the seconds. He felt insane. Crazy from sleep deprivation and worry. He heard the line go silent, but Shouto continued laughing until his sides hurt and he was out of breath.

"Todoroki-Kun?" Midoriya's timid voice made him smile.

"Sorry, Midoriya," he said. His mind going back to Midoriya's word vomit and nodded softly. "Don't worry. I wasn't sleeping."

"Nightmares?" Shouto's eyes widened. He knew that Midoriya was smart, but the green haired boy wasn't a telepath or empath. Midoriya shouldn't know. Shouldn't have come to that conclusion.

"How do you know?" He heard the nervous breathing of Midoriya. The bed's sheets moving noisily, like if Midoriya was tugging it to calm himself. Shouto wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. Midoriya wasn't the most confident person, even with his powerful quirk. Midoriya didn't notice how he changed people's lives for the better with his determination and golden heart. The shorter boy was simply shy.

"You were panicking when I called you, Todoroki-Kun. The first thing you did was ask me was if something was wrong. Though that could've been for the hour, but I heard your labored breathing and the rustled of bedsheets. As if you just stood up. Also the sliding of a door, must likely the closet's door. You weren't asleep and I think you wake up early to begin a rigorous training. Well—well, that is more of a guess. Because I don't know anything about your training scheme! I swear Todoroki-kun!" Midoriya rambled with his usual enthusiasm.

"Oh." How eloquent of him. Truthfully, he didn't pay much attention to Midoriya's speech. Not because he didn't want to hear him, but because he was tired. His whole body felt numb and heavy. If only he could fell asleep without those pesky nightmares…

"Is," he heard him swallowed noisily, "is it about the Hero Killer?" Shouto inhaled loudly, answering Midoriya without meaning to.

"He is in custody, going to jail soon."

"I know." The line went silent for a while. Shouto did know that. He also knew that Midoriya was safe and sound but the past was eating him alive. He knew it was ridiculous. It was the past. Something that was already set in stone. It was unchangeable and unreachable. Yet, he couldn't move on.

"It affected you… the fight," Midoriya slowly drawled, "Todoroki-Kun, you did amazing. If you hadn't come… we would have died. You saved us and protected us. You didn't care about your wounds or about your safety. You battled for us even when you had just started learning re-using the other side of your quirk. It was reckless, selfless and everything a hero is. You behaved like a hero the whole time. Todoroki-Kun, you are a hero… _my hero._ " The last two words were a mere whisper. Shouto was sure he wasn't meant to hear those words. Two words that erased any doubt about his career choice and turned him into a tomato. Shouto's heart was beating crazily, no it was pounding. Because his heart didn't beat for Midoriya, it pounded. It pounded loudly and persistently. It had its own song for the green-eyed boy.

A unique melody for the boy who was stealing it.

(Because yes, Midoriya was stealing his heart.)

"Tell me about your childhood," Shouto whispered hoarsely, emotionally drained from the night, "my mother used to do that." He knew that Midoriya would understand. The younger boy read him like a open book. Midoriya stayed silent for a moment and then began talking. Rambling about his adventures with Bakugou, about the silly hero names he came up, and how All Might inspired him to be a hero. Midoriya didn't have his mother's elegance in story telling. He didn't make them magical with ice castles. Still they held a charm. His enthusiasm was charming.

His mother and Midoriya were a lot alike.

They were both his guardian angels.

The stories were working like a charm. Shouto felt his eyelids get heavier. Dropping constantly, with every minute. His thoughts were getting muddled by the second. He would fall asleep soon; he smiled. A soft, carefree smile was on his scared face. A smile full of adoration and acceptance.

" _Izuku_."

He was his life line.


End file.
